Men as Protectors

Lesson Outline for Aug 21, 2025

We are Protectors

Goal – For men to understand their responsibility, role and assignment to protect our wife and family physically, emotionally and spiritually – we are “watchman”

• Do you know what brings a women security?
• Do women want a man to be strong physically, emotionally and spiritually?
• What makes a woman feel secure and protected?
• What is your top need?
• What do you prize above all things? You protect what you value!

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Hebrew and Greek Terms / Definitions

• Watchman – #H6822 “sapa” to peer into the distance, to keep watch, spy, to look out, to watch closely
• Love– #G26 “agape” highest form of Godly love, it’s sacrificial and selfless surpassing feeling and emotion
• Love – #G25 “agapao” to prize above other things, unwilling to abandon, be fond of, love dearly, to prefer

The green is the author’s notations in the verses below. Bold text added for emphasis

We love a rescue, but…

Some rescues are of their own making

Gen 14:14-16 ESV – “14 When Abram heard that his kinsman had been taken captive, he led forth his trained men, born in his house, 318 of them, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. 15 And he divided his forces against them by night, he and his servants, and defeated them and pursued them to Hobah, north of Damascus. 16 Then he brought back all the possessions, and also brought back his kinsman Lot with his possessions, and the women and the people.”

• Abram (Abraham) rescued his family (nephew Lot), but it should not have been necessary
• Could this have been avoided, if so how?
• What was Abram’s and Lot’s bloodline – Abram’s father Terah’s profession? Terah made idols, was a polytheist (maker of false idols ref Rabbinic Literature Numbers Rabbah 19:1, 33; as a server of polytheist Josh 24:2, 14-15). Chaldeans in Ur practiced sorcery, astronomy and astrology, divination and human sacrifice
• Abraham pursued God’s call on his life; Lot was troubled?
• Lot was not a watchman or protector; he did not provide a secure environment; his family suffered; he moved outside of Sodom and then into Sodom; he offered his virgin daughters; he was slow to leave Sodom; his sons-in-laws (betrothed to his daughter) did not listen to Lot; his wife was disobedient; last we hear, Lot is in a cave, drunk and his daughters have incestuous relations. NOT A WATCHMAN
• What environment should Lot have provided? Our protection should not put our wife and family at risk! 

Protection is more the physical

Security is 360, continuous and paramount

Eph 5:22-26, 33 ESV – “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love (agapao) your wives, as Christ loved (agapao) the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, … 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Col 3:18-21 ESV – “18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

1 Pet 3:1-7 ESV – “1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external–the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear– 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor (value, esteem, preciousness) to the woman as the weaker (physically) vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (like a broken road impeding travel – from low marital conduct).”

• What is your – (a man’s first need) in a relationship? Respect
• How do you perceive security and for your wife? Do you know what a safe environment is for your wife, or do you listen to culture?
• Do know your wife’s top need? Have you asked her? It does not matter if it is your need or you agree with her; don’t obviate her top need because it’s not yours
• Do you PRIZE (agapao) her above all things (except Jesus)
• Have you used the “D” word – Divorce with your wife, threatened it; used it to manipulate, create fear?
• There is a Godly order to all things – it’s in God’s word, NOT culture, your friends sage advice, social media, the latest poll, etc
• Submission is not oppression – both man / woman, husband / wife have equal value, just different positions, roles and responsibilities – our culture has these out of order
• Studies and surveys show – women do prefer a man who is fit and able to protect physically – manliness is not toxic
• Security is a woman’s top need – emotional, physical, spiritual
• They want to be – loved unconditionally, understood, validated and affirmed = communication, time together
• They want men who are – spiritual leaders, trustworthy, dependable, present

You are called to be a “watchman”

Security is 360 degrees, continuous and paramount

Eze 3:16-17 ESV – “16 And at the end of seven days, the word of the LORD came to me: 17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me.” (see Ezek 33:2-9 below)

Mark 3:27 ESV – “But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house.”

• Not controlling or creepy; Not passive; not passive aggressive
• Spiritually aware (discernment) and anticipate and out maneuver “problems” – proactive NOT reactive
• Prayer warriors and intercessors
• Your weakness and failure as a watchman will go to your “account” Ezek 33:2-9 (see below)
• You are charged to warn, guide and lead
• Binding the “strongman” is a spiritual battle first – then the rest fall
• We need to be the strong watchman over our wife and family, grounded in the “fear of the LORD”
• Obstacles to a watchman – failure to understand God’s purpose for marriage; we don’t feel it, they must not need it; protecting ourselves/our hearts – lack of vulnerability, selfishness, absent (physically, emotionally, spiritually)

Last thoughts and considerations

• God’s purpose for marriage is to make you more holy, not more happy
• You made a covenant with God and your wife – we don’t quit because marriage is hard
• Know your wife’s top needs and provide her needs; talk about what God’s word says about her needs and your needs
• Godly men do hard things, are selfless, love unconditionally, sacrifice, are present – lead spiritually
• Godly men have a sound Christian mentor (see Titus 2 below) Who is your Christian mentor?
• Prize your wife above all things – 2^nd only to Jesus Christ, children’s priority is after your wife
• Don’t confuse your priorities for your wife’s needs and priorities
• Humble yourself ask for forgiveness and repent to God and your wife, and your kids too
• Men of God / warriors for Jesus and our family overcome obstacles, tear down obstacles, are always “on” – press into Jesus Christ for discernment, prepare the following generations
• Pray over your wife, family and home with the spiritual authority Jesus gave you as a born-again believer
• Godly men listen and fear the LORD, not man, culture, losing friends, we don’t compromise
• Godly men put on the armor of God daily – do it as a prophetic act
• It is NEVER too late to be a watchman and set the example – to provide security
• No one has more spiritual authority over your wife and family than the husband – love her as Christ loved the church!

Decree – I will honor the covenant I made to God and my wife; she is my highest priority after Jesus Christ; I am always on duty and at my post – security is 360 degrees, paramount and continuous in the physical and spiritual realm

Other verses for self-study

Eze 33:2-9 ESV – “2 Son of man, speak to your people and say to them, If I bring the sword upon a land, and the people of the land take a man from among them, and make him their watchman, 3 and if he sees the sword coming upon the land and blows the trumpet and warns the people, 4 then if anyone who hears the sound of the trumpet does not take warning, and the sword comes and takes him away, his blood shall be upon his own head. 5 He heard the sound of the trumpet and did not take warning; his blood shall be upon himself. But if he had taken warning, he would have saved his life. 6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, so that the people are not warned, and the sword comes and takes any one of them, that person is taken away in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at the watchman’s hand. 7 “So you, son of man, I have made a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. 8 If I say to the wicked, O wicked one, you shall surely die, and you do not speak to warn the wicked to turn from his way, that wicked person shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. 9 But if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, that person shall die in his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul.”

Titus 2:1-8 ESV – 1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Eph 6:12-18 ESV – “12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints..,”